I'm getting all geared up for Thanksgiving in my mind. Part of gearing up is feeling awfully grateful for so many things.
Before you read further, just keep in mind that I can feel blessed by little things. And, I often am. It just doesn't take a big bow on top of a new car to blow me away.*
I tell you that because the following things that I am currently taking great pleasure in are not your "usual" suspects. So, go ahead and laugh at my expense.
1. Using pizza bones** to lap up the leftover dressing in my salad bowl.
There is something about the combination of chewy bread and fatty deliciousness that speaks to my soul. And my taste buds. And my insatiable ability to pinch a penny until Abe screams simply because I'm too cheap to waste anything.
Hence, I eat every bit of a pizza.
The box, on the other hand, is safe. Until they invent sugar-infused, caramel-flavored boxes. Then all bets are off.
2. Paper towel in the handy "choose a size" roll.
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Nothing used to drive me crazier than taking an entire piece of paper towel for a spill the size of a gecko poo.
You see, at heart, I love trees. And I hate to waste trees on anything that seems unecessary.
And we waste enough toilet paper in this house that there are trees in distant villages in other countries that scream in fear of being cut down when my boys enter the bathroom. Boys don't get the conservation in the potty thing AT ALL.***
So, I'm hoping the "choose a size" roll will come out of the kitchen and make its way to the bathroom sometime soon. Maybe, just seeing those oddly-large pieces of tp will stop the madness.
I fear, short of that, our planet will have to learn to breathe without trees sometime before the Nowell boys leave for Heaven.
3. My tongue.
I promise not to laugh at you next time we meet if you promise to take this seriously. When's the last time you really thought about how awesome YOUR tongue is?
a. It can detect if something is so hot it shouldn't be eaten. Which conjures up images of Mike taking his pizza out of the microwave and sticking his tongue on top of it to see if it needs more heating.****
b. It can show universal disapproval. It's the silent way of telling another human being "I just don't like you/that". And, it's portable to other species! Have you ever stuck your tongue out at a monkey in the zoo? He'll do the same back!*****
c. In a few weeks, it will tell my body "pecan pie = sugary delight", "ham = salty deliciousness", and "cranberry sauce = still sucks"******
d. It is practically a military weapon. It will seek, and attempt to destroy, any small piece of food caught in between my teeth. If it can't get it the first 2,000 attempts? It goes for 2,001. And continues this annoying game until I can locate the dental floss that was used as a zip line for the Lego Star Wars droids.
Considering we are just at the beginning of November, I'm sure other blessings will pop into my mind. And, I'm just as sure, that I'll be sharing them here.
Aren't you lucky? Wink, wink, nod, nod.
*Though, feel free to try that on me.
**You know...the part of the crust that never gets any sauce or toppings and is left when you've eaten all the good stuff and are just down to bread. YUM.
***BIG IRRITATION OF MOMMAJ/SOAP BOX ALERT: I can spend half of my thirties coming in contact with your gnarly poo-poo diapers and you come screaming (literally) out of the bathroom if your OWN POOP accidentally "bleeds" through the tissue? REALLY? And, somehow, using half the dang roll doesn't help so you feel the need to use the entire roll for one smallish, solid poo. REALLY? Then I get stranded on the toilet when I have to go because there is no tp and my screaming isn't heard by anybody in the house. REALLY?
****This is somewhat practical, as long as it is HIS food and not MINE. And I've always wondered "So what if that food was Chernobyl reactor hot and you just stuck your tongue on it?" Habit-breaker, maybe?
*****Not that I've ever tried this when a monkey was slinging his own poo at onlookers....
*****Yet, year after year, I hold out hope that this will be the ONE TIME I really dig this stuff.